Expectations. I have very high expectations not only of my self but of others too. It is a characteristic of my personality that I look upon as a flaw. In my own self I believe it both aids and hinders my self development - with high expectations I will do everything I can to complete my ever lasting to do list by the end of the day, on many occasions this results in a high level of productivity and success. Yet, when this doesn't happen I'll beat myself up endlessly over not having had time to fit in that 45 minute yoga video or not having the energy to clean my apartment. My expectations in others range from expecting to be treated as I treat them, expecting others to be punctual or get as much done as I am able to, expecting replies to messages or calls. Surely this can only equal unhealthy relationships with a bucket load of resentment. It does.
After doing a little soul searching I believe that this comes from my incessant need to control. To know exactly what will happen today, tomorrow, in the future and to be able to map my life plan out perfectly. However, when life throws a curve ball and things don't go to plan I panic. I hit the huge red button and have a mini melt down, until I create new expectations and a new plan...it's a vicious circle.
So among my goals for now, for today, I choose not to expect. I choose to let go of expectations and just "hope". I hope that I will achieve all of the tasks I have set myself today, I hope that I will find time to work on an online course I am studying. I hope that I will spend time with a friend and I hope that I will fall asleep at a reasonable time. But if this doesn't happen then I choose to accept.